1. Roomies leave their clothes all over the place, making you trip over them and hurry to remove underwear from the hallway before your local friendly deputy comes in to buy eggs.
2. Roomies want dinner. Now. But they don’t want to do dishes. Ever.
3. Roomies make you have to be quiiiiet while they sleep, even if that’s normally the time you’d vacuum and turn the music up loud and the lights down low and do pagan rituals in the dark.
4. Roomies leave their hair wads in your shower drain.
5. Roomies bring along evil kittehs who take glee in terrorizing your big three big fat cowardly lions.
6. Roomies wake you up all the time to ask favors like: Can I borrow your car?
7. Roomies use your stuff - makeup, qtips, jewelry, clothes, hair stuff, whatever.
8. Roomies come home drunk and eat all your cinnamon sticks and say very strange things, like: “You’ve been folding towels ALL THIS TIME?”
9. Roomies are quite unconcerned with electrical bills… as long as they aren’t footing it, anyway.
10. Roomies leave you with no *real* alone-time, because you know they could come back at any moment spoiling all the good alone-ness of the alone-time

In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve been living with a roomie for a while, and it’s been an adventure. Good friend roomie probably has a similar list of “Reasons not to live in your friend’s house” list, which would probably include things like: “Roomies nag CONSTANTLY about things they doesn’t do themselves, like rinsing one’s dishes.” Me and A don’t live well together - after many years of doing just that, we’ve learned our lesson, but when a girl’s got sewer problems, a girl’s got sewer problems, you know? And what’s a good friend to do but take in a roomie until it’s fixed?

However, she oughta be leaving today, which makes me happy, and probably her, too - I’m sure she’s dying to get away from my naggy, annoying ass just as much as I’m ready to get rid of her. Still, it’s gonna be a bit strange. Two weeks of having another body in the house to talk to will make for an odd transition to that sudden aloneness.

Still, how do married people DO IT?

4 Comments »

1. Gahh…yes! Husband and I have had roomie’s on and off for 10 years. It. Sucks. There’s nothing better than having a roommate that showers for two and a half hours, uses up the giganto pack of tp in a weeks time and eats any and all leftovers but never contributes to the grocery bill.

   How do us married couples do it? Dunno really…I have a lot of time away from him during the day, and I get to yell at him when he does stupid things.

   Comment by Christine — May 12, 2008 @ 8:50 am

2. I imagine married people probably have a lot of the same thoughts…the probably blog them too.
   I have two roommates and I almost checked off everything you listed for each of them.
   Top 15 Reasons & additions to original Top 10 list:
   11. They not only eat your food, but refuse to alert the media when the home is void of toilet paper, dish soap, milk or lightbulbs and only think to tell you when you are stuck on the toilet, have a sink of dirty dishes, are eating a double chocolate cookie or are sitting in your room in the dark with a tea-light candle. “OOPS! I forgot” is not an acceptable answer.
   12. They believe that the radio in the bathroom is their God-given right to blast at full volume even when your bed is next to the wall between the bathroom and your room. And it’s 6 am.
   13. They decide to start gardening a full 12 weeks before the plant date, leaving the living room a disaster with tables of wet & growing peet pods, gardening tools, seed packets, dirt and then, inevitably, mold.
   14. Not only do they leave their hairballs in the drain, they assume they are yours and instead of pulling them…they tell you to do it. OR they remove them from the drain and stick them to the WALL. Ewe. Double Ewe.
   15. There is NO ALONE time. Even when you ask for ALONE time or clearly state that you are currently “in ALONE time” they insist on sharing there ENTIRE DAY (sometimes twice) and get offended when you don’t want to share yours.

   Comment by Janna — May 12, 2008 @ 10:55 am

3. Wow. I feel better.

   Comment by Janna — May 12, 2008 @ 10:57 am

4. HEY! You make me sound terrible. To everyone who is wondering who the hell K is friends with that DOES these things to her, I also: loaded dishwasher, took out garbages, washed sheets and remade bed! And yelled at my demon cat for harassing her VERY big cowardly lions! I offered to cook dinner one night, but she didn’t WANT me to. Also, I bought us pizza. OKAY OKAY it was for me, but I SHARED.

   Sheesh.

   Comment by A — May 12, 2008 @ 11:13 am

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